You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
