what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
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