woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
All I wanted to tell you is that I fucked a guy covered in fake blood, who circumcised himself.
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
you had me at cake vodka
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
Randomize
