Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
