Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
Randomize
