he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
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