i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
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