dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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