if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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