Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I guess crabs is what I get for sleeping with my ex.
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
Randomize
