i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
porn bloobers exist! never have i laughed so hard while jerking off!
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
Don't worry about us we're making Mac and cheese
MAC AND CHEESE ABORTED, WE HAD FIRE
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
