Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
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