so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
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