when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
It's shark week go big or go home
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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