i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
Hey, thanks for not calling the cops when I answered the door naked, high as fuck, and covered in red velvet cake batter.
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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