apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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