Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
we turned the lights off and all you could see were my glow in the dark stars and his penis
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
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