i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
is there a way to say "yea i broke my wrist cause i fell down some stairs while tripping my face off on acid" without actually saying it?
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
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