You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Randomize
