please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize
