what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
It was confusing and full of hummus
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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