I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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