I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
