Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
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