just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
You tried to poop in the sink last night.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
Randomize
