Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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