you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize
