i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
Lets just say my thoughts when getting dressed this morning was "vagina friendly" options
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
So, I'm either with my future life partner or my future life taker. And his brother. lol. I'll let you know when I get home alive.
The more drunk I get the more I want to steal a lamb
What would be the possible repercussions of lamb theft
I know her cup size but not her name....
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
