Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
I can feel myself smiling like 10 minutes after I stop smiling, and that's just like... so awesome.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
