That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Randomize
