Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Randomize
