Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
i wish i could google "things to eat in my fridge" so i wouldnt have to go downstairs and be disappointed
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
She needs to learn she only fits into our friendship as a DD.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
