I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
The fact that I am laying in bed on my stomach with an ice pack on my rump is a clear indication that I am no longer in my carefree 20s
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
