Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
The only food I have to eat is weed gummies and magic mushrooms... This is peak 34
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