Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I fought a guy last night because he said "extra pulp orange juice is the best orange juice"
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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