My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
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