I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
The little things make me happy. Little dicks do not.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
Randomize
