she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I just fucked her in her boyfriends bathroom... he was in the room sleeping.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
I'm considering offering a class on how to find good porn.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I saw your dick pic and thought there goes the last thread of my heterosexuality.
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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