i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
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