My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
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