I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Randomize
