A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
