we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
It's "your husband had his mouth on my vagina" awkward.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I think I just got judged by the pizza guy. dude, you deliver fucking pizza. you need rethink YOUR life.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
he just fucked me for my cheese.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Randomize
