I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
Randomize
