Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
Welcome aboard the S.S. struggle. I'll be your captain for today's voyage and Jeremy is your first mate. Just sit back and relax while we navigate the seas of drunken regret. Your forecast for the day is violently hungover with a chance of "shit, that really did happen!"
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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