Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
Well i'm not entirely sure considering he gave my vagina an early valentine's day card that said "you're purrfect."
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
false alarm, still single
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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