i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Ahhh the shame of taking out my recycling
Randomize
