we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
