shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
it's like a walk of shame rule, you always run into someone who saw you wearing that yesterday
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
Randomize
