Me. At least after what I've been through.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Randomize
