you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
LSHMSFOAIDMT = laughing so hard my sombrero falls off and I drop my taco.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
Randomize
